Which brings me to question the wisdom of the drastic changes to the history syllabus to “instill patriotism” (which I didn’t even know was lacking amongst Malaysians). Sure, I can accept that history is viewed through the eyes of the victor (or, in our case, the dominant majority), but the complete omission of whole sections of history in favor of one ethnic group over all others is utterly deplorable. We are thus denying our very own citizens a true appreciation of our diversity & historic unity in forming the country as it stands today. The founding fathers of Malaya when it achieved independence was a multi-racial group after all.

And let’s not kid ourselves, most Malaysians (excluding the orang asli, or original people) can trace their ancestry leading from elsewhere. We don’t even have to look very hard. Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohammed’s father was from India. Heck, even Parameswara, the great hero and “founder” of Malaya (whose chapters are always mentioned first in our history books, as if there were no known humans on our lands before him) was from Indonesia. As far as I’m concerned, we are all immigrants if we look back far enough.

The trouble is, in roughly 30 years, the minorities have been slowly written out of the history books. I suppose we are expected to assume that 40% of the current population and their ancestors miraculously appeared from the abyss post-1930? The title of this article from the Centre for Policy Initiatives says it all – “Half the country disappears in Malaysian history syllabus.

Why? What is the agenda behind omitting the vital role of the minorities – and mind you, sizeable minorities at that – from our history textbooks? Is this supposed to be education or an attempt to marginalize whole sections of our society? Correct me if I am wrong, but this all reeks of a thinly-veiled attempt to create a rift between the races at the school-going age. They might as well have just written; you are either with us or against us because your kind had nothing to do with building Malaysia. Is the new syllabus trying to reflect the current sentiment that Chinese-Malaysians and Indian-Malaysians are merely “customers” and not respectable citizens (who, incidentally, pay a majority of the country’s personal income tax)?

So, with all these omissions, what else are we going to bolster our syllabus with? Enter four extra chapters of Islamic history. Now, before I say anything else, I want to set the record straight that it is my personal belief that learning Islamic history is important – after all, Malaysia is a Muslim-majority country and Islam is the dominant religion in the world. However, I do think dedicating half a textbook on world history exclusively to Islamic history at the expense of other topics is ultimately detrimental to equipping students with vital knowledge about the world that they live in. I mean, let’s be honest here – are we trying to churn out Islamic scholars, or are we trying to prepare the youths for a competitive, globalized economy where they will (shock, horror!) encounter people who aren’t Muslims?

I’m all for religious understanding, tolerance, and mutual exchange of ideas. I sincerely believe that a holistic view of world history encourages acceptance of different perspectives and breeds a society where people of diverse religious affiliations can co-exist. I know this because I have studied history and I have an idea of which sensitivities not to tread on. For example, I wouldn’t write the introduction to a history textbook for a diverse audience beginning with a sentence like this; “With the utmost gratitude to the presence of My Lord, The Great Cthulhu, for His guidance in realizing the vision and keen desire of The Ministry of Education to revamp the KBSM and KBSR syllabi which has now bore fruit.”

Alas, that is exactly how the first sentence of the history textbook reads except where I replaced “Allah, Glory to God” with “My Lord, The Great Cthulhu”. I’m quite sure my translation is spot-on (1A Bahasa Malaysia and 1A Bahasa Inggeris, mind you!) but if you are interested, the original sentence is goes like this: “Syukur ke hadrat Allah s.w.t. kerana hasrat dan wawasan Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia untuk menerbitkan semula buku teks KBSM dan KBSR telah terhasil.” Honestly, I wouldn’t be at all offended if it were an isolated incident in a 200-page textbook, but the incessant lavishing of praise and glorification of one religion above all others raises as many eyebrows as questions.

More troubling are the dubious assertions that syariah law is applicable in multi-cultural nations such as Malaysia. The following is an excerpt from A Concerned Mother who has taken the time to scour the textbook for these gems of wisdom:

…promotes Syariah law as suitable and practical for a multi racial nation. It cites the example of the success of the multi racial community in Madinah governed by the Madinah Charter. The formation of an Islamic government in Madinah is stated to thus prove that Islam can be practiced in a wholesome daily living and should be emulated by the Malaysian society. Syariah law is hailed as just, complete and perfect, and can be followed by all communities (pg 128). There is mention of social justice under Islam (pg 128); equal treatment to all people under Islam (pg 110, 128); purity of the struggles of Islam (pg 112); fairness, integrity, consideration and generosity of Islamic economic principles (pg 128).

It all sounds so fine and dandy, I wonder why we have a secular judicial system at all. I mean, seriously, I can’t wait till we can cane anyone and everyone who drinks alcohol regardless of their personal beliefs. And you know what? Let’s just throw physical evidence out the window in favor of eyewitness testimonies where a woman’s word is worth half a man’s and testimonies from non-Muslims may be excluded altogether. Is my interpretation too extreme? Well, with a history textbook that fails to address and define what extremes are and yet glorifies every aspect of syariah law, I can only assume that it is trying to encourage a wholesale embrace of Islamic justice regardless of its incompatibilities with our times.

Though Malaysia is often regarded by developed countries as a “model nation” amongst developing countries, regular Malaysians such as myself just can’t shake the nagging feeling that there is something deeply troubling about Malaysia. Otherwise, why would we need to spend RM70 million on an advertising campaign to promote racial unity (and yet revise our history textbooks to omit the contributions of minorities)? Are we trying to sugarcoat our reality instead of really addressing the core issues that polarize our society into this  ‘us vs. them‘ mentality? Who benefits from these policies?

At the end of the day, what frustrates me most is that despite the meek protests from leading educators, the concerns of the Malaysian Bar Council, as well as the letters from members of the public, this textbook is going to be forced down the throats of every 16-year-old in the country eventually. It is unfortunate, but history has taught me that Malaysians, as a peace-loving, muhibbah society, cannot question the actions and policies of its own government for fear that it may jeopardize our precious racial harmony – even if the actions of that very government seems to be doing exactly that. We’ve been so bullied into submission that it’s almost like Stockholm Syndrome on a national scale – just accepting the situation and deluding ourselves into believing it’s for our own benefit (or face arrest for sedition).

Well, I sure hope I’m wrong.

Yes, you read that right. Every time you don’t capitalize your “I” when referring to yourself, a baby dies.

Now, you may not have heard of this phenomenon but there is no doubt that it occurs. There is still much debate over how or why it happens, but the most widely accepted hypothesis proposes that the cognitive impact of processing a piece of writing devoid of the all-important first-person capitalized-I causes a spike in blood pressure and increased levels of cortisol – a stress hormone linked to aggression, and erratic behavior.

All this frustration needs an outlet. No better way to neutralize all those pent-up negative emotions than to displace it. Tell your wife she has put on weight. She then doesn’t hold open the door for that person two steps behind her. He prank calls a clown and tells him that everybody is laughing at him and not with him. The clown, visibly upset and crying, plays Taylor Swift songs at ear-splitting decibels. Neighbors can’t stand it and race out of their homes in SUV’s (thereby also contributing to global warming). People lash out at the ones around them who, in turn, lash out at others. Like a tsunami, waves of cortisol flood the community.

Babies, as we all know, lack the power of advanced methods of communication. Thus, they are unable to displace all that anger and frustration. Their chubby little selves become densely packed with cortisol which makes them wonderfully delicious – especially to predatory animals. (Don’t ask me how I know how stressed babies taste. I just do.)

Vicious vultures will then descend upon these unsuspecting babies, swoop them up, carry them to their perches atop financial buildings (watch out near Wall Street) and tear them apart. All because of lower-cased I’s.

I haven’t even gotten to the dreaded effects of words compounded with the un-capitalized I. Every time you spell ill when you really mean I’ll, a malaria-like infection spreads across the populace of a third-world country.

The same principle applies to words like I’ve, I’m and I’d. When you don’t type these words correctly, you are a leading contributor to the problem of famine.

So please, the next time you want to write an essay, or blog comment, or even a short message on a post-it note telling your mom that you love babies, remember to capitalize your I.

[[ END OF FUN PORTION OF POST. DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU WANT TO ACCEPT MY RANTING, RAVING WAYS. ]]

I’m a fatty.

Most of the acquaintances I’ve met so far have not failed to address my weight issue. Which, to be honest, I haven’t really thought to be an issue at all. Sure, I could use a little more exercise, but it’s rather disheartening to be asked straight after meeting someone if “the food in US really dat good, ah?”. There’s no other way for me to respond than to nod and laugh, agree that I should blame the USDA or KFC’s Double Down, and hold myself back from an intense desire to throttle them. (No, I’m not really that violent. Yet.)

Somehow, I feel like I have let people down by not being this ideal, frail and pale maiden. There’s an air of disdain (verging on disgust sometimes – if they aren’t careful enough to hide it) in their faces when they purse their lips and shake their heads at my inability to squeeze into an S-sized dress.

Each “you look too prosperous” comment is inevitably followed by well-meaning advice to “eat a little less” so my BMI would be acceptably underweight. Exercise? Jogging? Not encouraged – because you’d build up muscle mass (meaning; you won’t be skinny enough) and you’d be out in the sun (meaning; you’d get unacceptably tan – also another big nono here).

I wasn’t sure how to conclude this post. It’s been sitting in my drafts for more than a week now while I waited for divine inspiration on how to end it with some deep and meaningful line that would once and for all time lay this “fat” discussion to rest. Unfortunately, all I am left with is the realization of how silly it is for something so trivial to trouble me at all. Have I really become this vain, shallow, irritable person after a mere two weeks in South East Asia?

I hope not.

In other news, it was great seeing mum & dad again. Gosh, they look so good! I sure hope I luck out and look as great when I reach their age. Mum was as fashionable as ever and she has this cool hairdo. Very fashion forward. Pics soon, I promise. And yes, she is happily married.

Also awesome: Malaysian food. We went straight to this midnight wonton mee stall after the airport. Sat at tables on the side of the road. Mmm, mmm… cloudy soft, savory goodness melting in my mouth. And then, I see a rat scuttle past us into the exposed drain not too far away. Ah, Malaysia.

This morning, the housekeeper made nasi lemak (coconut rice) with pandan leaf and serai. Seriously, the best nasi lemak I’ve ever had in my life. Not exaggerating. Everyone keeps commenting on how fat I’ve gotten… right before they taunt me with delicious food. AH, MALAYSIA.

Anyways, I’ll try to keep this thing updated again. Hopefully daily (probably not going to happen). For now, though, I have to use my mom’s netbook until my 22″ screen arrives. My room has no furniture except a bed. Very minimalist. I’ll have to do something about that.

Leave a comment below to stand a chance to win a super special ultra fantabulous extremely mysterious gift from me. It might be a box of junk, or pink socks, or a copy of the Eidos Collector’s Pack, Razer peripherals or a Body Shop gift card. It could also be something as bizarre as invading a neighboring country and imposing my own ideology even if they don’t want it.

Okay, that last sentence made no sense… In any case, don’t forget to list your email so I know how to contact you! Only valid on the 4th of January 2009 starting 00:01 till 23:58.

Don’t get me wrong, beauty is a good thing and human beings have been predisposed to prioritize beauty because it is a genetic marker for health – and healthy mates carry healthy genes which makes for the production of healthy babies who will in turn carry on those genes. Our subconscious has evolved to help us identify these signs which our conscious mind sees and labels as “beauty”. A good height, slim (toned, but not skinny) build, smooth skin, healthy teeth – these are what most people prefer in a partner because they possess genes that are most likely to ensure the continuation of succession. And whether we choose to reproduce or not, our idea of what is beautiful or attractive is hardwired into that unconscious part of our brain.

Click here for wikipedia’s entry on the definition of beauty (or at least, physical attractiveness). And yes, there are male as well as female definitions.

But at the heart of the issue, beautiful people are not just more likely to attract more mates… they also earn more. On average, 12% more. In an article from The Independent, “the main reason for the apparent victory of the lookers is that they are seen as more helpful and co-operative” while the rest of the Regular Joes/Joannas take in 7% less than them and Category 3 ends up 5% less than the moderately attractive. Okay, statistics aside, it was surprising to learn that good looking people are consistently perceived more positively personality-wise. I mean, we don’t want to mate with all these co-workers, we just want them to pull their weight in the workplace… so do looks really matter? Well, apparently it does – and it pays off, too.

So can you really blame people for wanting to look beautiful? Yes, brains are important (I, of all people, would champion that) but if someone out there thinks that they are in Category 3 and want to fix it so they can get a leg-up in life, I don’t think I can hold it against them. Of course, I’d hope they thought it through and put their physical, mental and emotional health into perspective first (that is, if they want to slim down – hit the gym and eat right first before opting for liposuction). All I’m saying is that wanting to be attractive isn’t “dumb” or “superficial” – it’s a natural fact of life. And if going under the knife is what they think is what they need (provided it’s a relatively safe procedure), hey, more power to them.

I know there are some out there who will vehemently disagree with this, but really, who are we to judge what someone else has to go through on a daily basis in silence. Prejudice is something that is very difficult to convey if you are on the receiving end of it because it’s so often covert and unconscious even to those who are perpetrating it (I doubt employers really think they are paying the beautiful people more, much less aware of their own innate prejudices). Yeah, yeah, “love thyself who you are, etc etc”… really, what if you can’t get that job as a news reporter on tv because your co-worker has a more symmetrical face? Are you really going to let that stand in the way of your career (and paycheck?) or are you going to do something about it? Change jobs? Look for a new career? Live life as second fiddle?

The problem is when people don’t know where to stop. As I’ve stated above, I have absolutely no problems with people who wish to do what they want with themselves as long as they think they have a valid reason for doing it and are improving on something. What I do have a problem with are already-attractive people who value their beauty so much that they think they have to improve on what is already a good thing they have going. Never fix what ain’t broke, goes the saying. And what I’ve never understood is blepharoplasty (better-known as eye-lid surgery) among Asian women. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch the video below:

The girl in the video was already extremely attractive. And she still felt the pressure to be more attractive than she already was. I just think it’s also a socio-cultural thing because having “double eyelids” are highly valued by East Asian women although it just seems so farcical considering that they are such a small feature in proportion to the rest of the face. It’s one of the most common surgical procedures done for cosmetic purposes, though most prefer to use glue or tape. And yes, it’s extremely popular and widespread among young, Asian females (and not just the older ones who think it makes them look “old and tired”). I have to say though, the process of artificially faking a double-eyelid is scary to watch, even when it’s not surgery.

Large eyes seem more expressive, yes – but is it really that much more attractive to have an extra wrinkle on top of your eye? Personally, I don’t think it’s that much more of an improvement (and surgery so close to your eye seems to be rather risky) when it comes to overall attractiveness since… well, who’s going to notice? Other women, I suppose? It’s one of those things which I think women put pressure on themselves to perfect, when it’s really such an inconsequential thing that it’s difficult for me to imagine the justification.

I guess all women want large, expressive, beautiful eyes and for Asian women, double eyelids constitute one step closer to the ultimate, baseball-sized eyes that those cartoons/anime girls have. Honestly though, I find the traditionally long-ish slit-like eyes of asian women rather sexy – even if some think they can “blindfold them with dental floss”. Just my two cents.